Sunday, February 08, 2009
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Joke of the day
- God worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.
- God knew that Adam would one day require someone to locate and hand him the TV remote.
- God knew that Adam would never go out and get himself a new fig leaf when his seat wore out and would therefore need Eve to get one for him.
- God knew that Adam would never be able to make a doctor’s, dentist or haircut appointment for himself.
- God knew that Adam would never be able to remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.
- God knew that if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.
- As Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools.
- Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.
- As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone!
- When God finished creating Adam, He stepped back, scratched His head and said, “I can do better than that.”
Joke of the Day
Why Dogs Can’t Use Computers
- He’s distracted by cats chasing his mouse.
- SIT and STAY were hard enough; CUT and PASTE are out of the question.
- Saliva-coated floppy disks refuse to work.
- Three words: carpal paw syndrome.
- Involuntary tail wagging is a dead give-away that he’s browsing www.purina.com instead of working.
- The fire hydrant icon is simply too frustrating.
- He can’t help attacking the screen when he hears “You’ve Got Mail”.
- It’s too messy to “mark” every Web site he visits.
- The FETCH command isn’t available on all platforms.
- He can’t stick his head out of Windows.
Joke of the Day
A Child's Prayer
The family was having the missionaries over to eat. The father turned to his six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"
"I don't know what to say," the girl replied.
"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife prompted. So the daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these missionaries to dinner?"
The family was having the missionaries over to eat. The father turned to his six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"
"I don't know what to say," the girl replied.
"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife prompted. So the daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these missionaries to dinner?"
Joke of the Day
Stairway to Heaven
A redhead, brunette and blonde were on their way to Heaven.
God told them the stairway to Heaven was 1000 steps, and on every 5th step He’d tell them a joke. But, they must not laugh or else they couldn’t enter heaven.
The brunette went first and started laughing on the 65th step, so she could not enter Heaven.
The redhead went next and started laughing on the 320th step, so she could not enter Heaven either.
Then, it was the blonde’s turn. When she got to the 999th step, she started laughing.
“Why are you laughing?” God asked. “I didn’t tell a joke.”
“I know,” the blonde replied. “I just got the first one.”
A redhead, brunette and blonde were on their way to Heaven.
God told them the stairway to Heaven was 1000 steps, and on every 5th step He’d tell them a joke. But, they must not laugh or else they couldn’t enter heaven.
The brunette went first and started laughing on the 65th step, so she could not enter Heaven.
The redhead went next and started laughing on the 320th step, so she could not enter Heaven either.
Then, it was the blonde’s turn. When she got to the 999th step, she started laughing.
“Why are you laughing?” God asked. “I didn’t tell a joke.”
“I know,” the blonde replied. “I just got the first one.”
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- Jeff Viola
- IT Professional with management and technical experiences. I love to strategize about difference directions and possibilities that can result. I was introduced to the cloud in 2012 and have been an evangelist since.
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